Model, author and designer, Jools Oliver has spoken about her PTSD following a near-fatal miscarriage, and the guilt she feels for grieving her multiple pregnancy losses when she already has children.
The wife of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has had five miscarriages in total, with the second being the one that endangered her life, leaving her with PTSD.
Miscarriages can be so damn dangerous, they can take your life. I get flashbacks that Im going to have to live with the rest of my life and that is really hard, she shared with Zoe Clark-Coates on her Life & Soul Podcast.
According to the Miscarriage Association of Ireland, about one in every five pregnancies in Ireland end in miscarriage. UK statistics put the number as high as one in four.
Jools and Zoe discussed how there can be a lack in afte care following the trauma of a miscarriage, and how this needs to change.
You cannot pack someone off and say Off you go. Go and pass your baby and youll be fine. I dont know how they can do that, I dont know why they do that. Why arent they calling you everyday and saying Darling, its me Im your midwife. How much blood loss have you had? How do you feel?
They do when they come to check the health of the baby every day, why cant they do that with a miscarriage as it could be fatal, said Jools.
The 45-year-old mother-of-five also shares her difficulties in speaking about her miscarriages, and her desire to have more children.
I stopped telling my friends, I didnt even tell my mum as I was sure she was thinking youre 40 something, youve got a wonderful family, youve got everything youve ever wanted, why are you pushing it?
I didnt even really tell Jamie I was pregnant at points as I was worried hed think why are we going through this all again?. I thought I was putting people through hell for my own selfish gain, and thats terrible, she said.
Jools still hopes to grow her family and says that desire increases even more once youve gone through as miscarriage as she explains this baby was meant to be here, so Ive got to keep trying.
She goes onto say that at 45, she has even thought about going down the IVF route to find the healthiest eggs but knows she needs to consider husband Jaimes needs as she is not so sure he is keen to do it that way.
Jools is now an ambassador for the charity Saying Goodbye, which provides support to anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby, at any stage of pregnancy, at birth or in infancy.
The charity was set up by podcast host Zoe Clark-Coates and her partner when, after five losses themselves, they noticed that there was key support missing for people who had experienced baby loss.
When asked what advise she would share for someone going through the same thing, Jools said: You must continue talking, to your husband, to anyone who will listen, to anyone who is there for you. And tell your story as its your baby, its all your dreams.
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Model, author and designer, Jools Oliver has spoken about her PTSD following a near-fatal miscarriage, and the guilt she feels for grieving her multiple pregnancy losses when she already has children.
